My current position is only seasonal, set to go until the end of January, so the madness of job searching has taken over my life once again. And with that comes with all my stress and worry and PRIDE.
Stress- I don’t think I have to tell anyone about the current job market and how much trouble recent college grads are having finding jobs. Finding a job in my industry is an animal of its own that I won’t even get into because it will probably just amplify my stress.
Worry- I worry about money. I have student loans that I have to start paying off very soon and that scares me. What if I don’t find a job and can’t make payments? I am trying to save as much as I can now, but I can only save so much.
Pride- I can’t even begin to name all the people that have told me how far I am going to go in my career. Or people that tell me they can’t wait to see where I’ll be in 10 years. Not to mention the professor and mentors that say I’m doing everything right and I shouldn’t have any problems. Professors, friends, co-workers, family all have told me to keep in touch and let them know what is going on in my life because they can’t wait to find out. I want to go far to prove that I won’t let them down. I want to show everyone that I won’t fall through the cracks and coast through life with a job that has nothing to do with my degree and what I love to do. And I want to be GREAT while I achieve all of this. I want to be the best. Not necessarily better than everyone else, but to be MY best.
I struggle with my reasons for wanting to be the best. Am I just out to prove a point? Or am I wanting to bring glory to God because I can’t possible be my best without Him? Sometimes I get caught up in the energy and the fun and the craziness of it all and I lose sight of what really matters.
I was driving to work this morning, and my Pandora wasn’t working, so I put my iPod on shuffle and Ruin Me by Jeff Johnson came on. The song was a beautiful and timely reminder: That’s what I want.
Ruin Me
Jeff Johnson
Woe to me
I am unclean
A sinner found in your presence
I see you
Seated on your throne
Exalted your glory surrounds you
Now the plans that I have made
Fail to Compare
When I see your glory
Ruin my life
The plans that I've made
Ruin desires
For my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols
That have taken your place
Til it's you alone I live for
You alone I live for
Woe to me
I am unclean
A sinner found in your presence
I see you
Seated on your throne
Exalted your glory surrounds you
Now the plans that I have made
Fail to compare
When I see your glory
Ruin my life
The plans that I've made
Ruin desires
For my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols
That have taken your place
Til it's you alone I live for
You alone I live for
Holy, Holy is the Lord Almighty
Holy is the Lord
Stress- I don’t think I have to tell anyone about the current job market and how much trouble recent college grads are having finding jobs. Finding a job in my industry is an animal of its own that I won’t even get into because it will probably just amplify my stress.
Worry- I worry about money. I have student loans that I have to start paying off very soon and that scares me. What if I don’t find a job and can’t make payments? I am trying to save as much as I can now, but I can only save so much.
Pride- I can’t even begin to name all the people that have told me how far I am going to go in my career. Or people that tell me they can’t wait to see where I’ll be in 10 years. Not to mention the professor and mentors that say I’m doing everything right and I shouldn’t have any problems. Professors, friends, co-workers, family all have told me to keep in touch and let them know what is going on in my life because they can’t wait to find out. I want to go far to prove that I won’t let them down. I want to show everyone that I won’t fall through the cracks and coast through life with a job that has nothing to do with my degree and what I love to do. And I want to be GREAT while I achieve all of this. I want to be the best. Not necessarily better than everyone else, but to be MY best.
I struggle with my reasons for wanting to be the best. Am I just out to prove a point? Or am I wanting to bring glory to God because I can’t possible be my best without Him? Sometimes I get caught up in the energy and the fun and the craziness of it all and I lose sight of what really matters.
I was driving to work this morning, and my Pandora wasn’t working, so I put my iPod on shuffle and Ruin Me by Jeff Johnson came on. The song was a beautiful and timely reminder: That’s what I want.
Ruin Me
Jeff Johnson
Woe to me
I am unclean
A sinner found in your presence
I see you
Seated on your throne
Exalted your glory surrounds you
Now the plans that I have made
Fail to Compare
When I see your glory
Ruin my life
The plans that I've made
Ruin desires
For my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols
That have taken your place
Til it's you alone I live for
You alone I live for
Woe to me
I am unclean
A sinner found in your presence
I see you
Seated on your throne
Exalted your glory surrounds you
Now the plans that I have made
Fail to compare
When I see your glory
Ruin my life
The plans that I've made
Ruin desires
For my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols
That have taken your place
Til it's you alone I live for
You alone I live for
Holy, Holy is the Lord Almighty
Holy is the Lord
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