This week I am posting my journal entry from September 17, 2005. This is the final post.
"While I was in bed, I was talking to Austen on the phone. It was around 1:00 a.m. I was exhausted mentally and physically. I only had two hours of sleep in the last 48 hours. But I couldn’t sleep. My mind and my emotions were on overload. I wasn’t thinking straight. I was so tired; I could barely keep my eyes open, but every time they shut, I was seeing images that freaked me out. I saw a huge tomb with rows and rows of bodies. I saw Dinah’s dead body like it was at the hospital that morning. I don’t even remember what else. I told Austen that even though I wanted so badly to get some sleep, I couldn’t because I was seeing scary things when I closed my eyes. I was really, really scared. Austen tried to calm me by talking to me and praying for me. I was so freaked out. I think the exhaustion had taken a drastic toll on my mind and my spirit. All I wanted was Mom. Right after I thought that, Austen asked if I needed my mom, and I said yes. He said that Satan was probably trying to attack me and I should get my dad to pray for me. He told me to hang up the phone and run to my mom. I did. She was in Leah’s room comforting her. I told Mom I needed her. She asked if I could wait a few minutes and I burst into tears and said, “Not really”. We sat at the top of the stairs and I told her what was happening. She just said, “Oh, Hannah!!” and hugged me. We went downstairs and she woke up Dad and asked him to pray for me. I don’t remember what he said, but as soon as he said, “Amen” he was asleep, snoring. We’re all worn to the limit. Mom came upstairs with me and said she would sleep in the other bed in my room tonight. I asked her to sit with me for a while. She talked to me and read me this verse: Proverbs 3:24-26 - “When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.” I kept the light on, but in a few minutes I was fast asleep.
I woke up to a whole different world without Dinah. Things would never be the same again."
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Truer words were never spoken…
I have never been the same since that day.
But make sure you start from the beginning, first read:
"While I was in bed, I was talking to Austen on the phone. It was around 1:00 a.m. I was exhausted mentally and physically. I only had two hours of sleep in the last 48 hours. But I couldn’t sleep. My mind and my emotions were on overload. I wasn’t thinking straight. I was so tired; I could barely keep my eyes open, but every time they shut, I was seeing images that freaked me out. I saw a huge tomb with rows and rows of bodies. I saw Dinah’s dead body like it was at the hospital that morning. I don’t even remember what else. I told Austen that even though I wanted so badly to get some sleep, I couldn’t because I was seeing scary things when I closed my eyes. I was really, really scared. Austen tried to calm me by talking to me and praying for me. I was so freaked out. I think the exhaustion had taken a drastic toll on my mind and my spirit. All I wanted was Mom. Right after I thought that, Austen asked if I needed my mom, and I said yes. He said that Satan was probably trying to attack me and I should get my dad to pray for me. He told me to hang up the phone and run to my mom. I did. She was in Leah’s room comforting her. I told Mom I needed her. She asked if I could wait a few minutes and I burst into tears and said, “Not really”. We sat at the top of the stairs and I told her what was happening. She just said, “Oh, Hannah!!” and hugged me. We went downstairs and she woke up Dad and asked him to pray for me. I don’t remember what he said, but as soon as he said, “Amen” he was asleep, snoring. We’re all worn to the limit. Mom came upstairs with me and said she would sleep in the other bed in my room tonight. I asked her to sit with me for a while. She talked to me and read me this verse: Proverbs 3:24-26 - “When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.” I kept the light on, but in a few minutes I was fast asleep.
I woke up to a whole different world without Dinah. Things would never be the same again."
-------------------
Truer words were never spoken…
I have never been the same since that day.
Comments
sommer
"never the same again"
Mom